Santa came home with a sports car
he got a great deal on his sleigh
he’s lost weight on a miracle diet
he’s going out clubbing they say

Santa was always so jolly
the children would sit on his knee
now he’s out rocking to head banging music
getting drunk and watching strip tease

So I’m asking
who left the weed by the chimney last night
why was the coke there at all
there are no presents under my tree
and he’s not in his chair at the mall

Santa got taken to jail
for prostitution they say
so I’m sorry to tell you it’s all been postponed
and we’re no having Christmas today

Santa came home with a sports car
he got a great deal on his sleigh
he’s lost weight on a miracle diet
he’s going out clubbing they say

so who left that weed by the chimney last night
why was the coke there at all
there are no presents under my tree
and he’s not in his chair at the mall